I’ve been a vegetarian since I was three years old. Which means I’ve spent the best part of three decades scanning menus like a hawk, searching for something, anything, without meat. Once upon a time, it was all about lentils, chickpeas, and mushrooms. Aubergine, if you were lucky.

Along the way, I’ve endured the usual questions: Is chicken meat? Do you eat fish? Just rabbit food then? It’s like being a vegetarian comes with a lifetime subscription to dietary small talk.

Then came the goat’s cheese era in the early 2000s. A dark time (for me). Almost every restaurant had exactly one vegetarian option, and it was turning up in everything. Salads, tarts, risottos. If you didn’t like goat’s cheese, you were doomed to spend most meals pushing food around your plate.

Now, we’ve arrived at the next chapter: faux meat. And credit where it’s due, some of it is clever. Smartly engineered, genuinely tasty, and doing a world of good for those trying to cut back, for the planet, the animals, and people’s health. But others? Packed with additives, nutritionally bleak, and like chewing on an ethical dilemma.

Still, this isn’t about cancelling faux meat. Some of it is genuinely helpful. The problem is that it’s starting to dominate menus entirely. Somewhere along the way, we stopped celebrating vegetables for what they are and started disguising them as something they’re not. Meat-free options shouldn’t just be a line-up of imitations. They should showcase all the creativity and flavour that real plant-based cooking can offer.

But instead, they’re replacing proper vegetarian food. The nut roasts. The lentil burgers. The courgette fritters and chickpea stews. All pushed aside for something pretending to be what we deliberately gave up.

There’s space for both. Let the meat-reducers enjoy their high-tech swaps. But don’t forget the quiet brilliance of simple, nourishing food that doesn’t harm animals or try to trick your taste buds.

Some of us are here for the chickpeas. And we’d quite like them back, please.

Everyone needs a safe space to rant, and this one’s yours. From the serious to the silly, we’re listening.

Email loveletters@beautilist.com to be next week’s anonymous voice.

Feature Image Credits:

Direction by Alexandra and Morgan Venison, with photography by Chloe Grace Allen. Styling by Samantha Francis Baker of Aces of Space and beauty by Natasha Ahmed. Model Cami Romero wears a blue shirt and jeans by Etro. Shot on location at Elara Villas in Park Hyatt Dubai.